i wanna wake up in your arms.

i love how comfortable we are with each other
i love how we endlessly make fun of each other
but never take the teasing to heart
i absolutely adore how when i turn away from you
when we're fighting, you try to stay mad, and psst after me after two minutes
i love the look in your eyes when i stare into them
or how you look when we kiss
i love how i can call you anytime i need someone
and how you never fail to make me smile
or laugh
i love how you need me as much as i need you
but most of all, i love how you love me.

there's a story at the bottom of this bottle, and im the pen.

Browsing through my old nexopia blogs, I realize how idle I am sometimes. By idle I mean inactive, sitting around, doing nothing. I know it's still far but I'm nearing the end of my highschool journey and what have I accomplished? I am gladly employed again, though the nostalgia for the bakery wafts up from time to time. I miss the people, the atmosphere, and of course the goods. Life is always changing and moving from one point to another and I remember how I was just a year from now. Just a year ago, I was a party-hungry, let's-get-fucked-up girl, always looking to have a smashing time. I was kinda verging reckless doing stupid things with stupid people. Getting hurt a bazillion more times than necessary, and losing pieces of dignity I had. Gladly enough, Pitt Day woke me up, and the long, solitary summer brought me back to reality. Now, nearing the end of tenth grade I'm a new person. I'm motivated again to be happy, all natural. I realize I hate promises. Maybe it's because most of the time, they get broken, and I hate having the feeling to trust someone. I mean of course I don't hate trust itself, but no one can promise you anything. There's always that possibility of things breaking, falling, disintegrating or whatnot. Situations that I've been in have taught me that people will let you down. I'm not being a hypocrite because I know I myself have disappointed others. There's always that lingering aroma of possible fallibility in everything in life, and I think that is what makes life so wonderful. No one can give you the security of not waking up and feeling different. Sometimes these changes don't happen over night, but over time yes. But people do risk things. People risk things because life and love is a gamble, and becoming broken and mislead is worth wagering for a time of happiness. Without the possibility of everything disappearing, the possibility of anything worthy doesn't exist.

i wont just buy you a rose, i will buy the flower shop.

For once, I don't have anything to complain about.

you're a risk i've decided that i'm going to take

lets do this forever?

le monde et vous?

non, le monde et nous.

like puzzle pieces from the clay

Someone please explain to me why there is a huge hype about the turning of a year? I understand, yes we all made it through another one without fucking up the world and all of humanity didn't swirl to an unbearable end, but all this bs about change and a new start irks me. Do you need a calendar to tell you to change? Why don't you just quit the fucking around, face life like a man (no sexism intended) and change when you want. Change on May 23 or on August 4th, if thats when you notice you started failing in life again. Then again, I am probably contradicting myself when I say this, because I myself have many hopes for this upcoming year. Even if there is not much of a difference on December 31 and January 1st, as in I am the same person, I have my wishes for this new year. Hopefrully, I won't be the same day-dreaming, never acting person that I am. Something's gotta happen this year.

im giving up slowlyy

the birds fly away, snickering among themselves while they fly away.

someone please get me out of here