Wednesday, May 19, 2010

you cant

rely on anyone but yourself in this world. Sure it's a hard pill to swallow, but in all honesty if there's a sure fire way for anything to happen, you gotta step up and do it yourself, be by yourself. I don't know what's with me. Maybe school is actually getting more difficult, or maybe I've lost my focus, and touch. I know in the big picture, me worrying so much about this math test really wont do much. By failing one math test, I won't not get into university, or graduate high school, I mean, I am in only the tenth grade. I have dozens of math tests to go through still in my life. But even though this one test won't make a huge difference in my life, I mean, in a week or so I'll have forgotten it by then and moved on to other things, it still makes me realize how much I've changed this passed school year. I hate it. My so called ability in academics is all I have. I feel like Rachel Berry when she loses her voice. That's all I'm good at, and if I am not good at school anymore, then what does that make me? I know this whole little pickle, is all my fault, everything always is. But, I don't know why I let myself get here. This isn't me. Which brings me back to the start of this rant. If I cannot even rely on myself anymore, that what's going to happen with me. I need a reality check, and maybe some ADD pills. You can't rely on anyone but yourself, a lesson I learned the hard way.